Rovistando fra vecchie cartacce è saltato fuori un cimelio del lontano 1979: una (finta) lettera di protesta di un (finto) turista italiano a Londra, che lamenta il cattivo trattamento patito in occasione di un soggiorno presso un albergo.
Tutta la lettera gioca su equivoci verbali e assonanze, per cui se non masticate bene l'inglese lasciate perdere.
Spero che per qualcuno risulti divertente: io mi sono pisciato nelle mutande (tanto per restare ... in tema). Ecco la lettera.
The Manager
Y.M.C.A. Hotel
London, England
Roma, 24 Aug 1979
Dear Signore Direttore,
Now I am a-tella you story how I was a-treated at Your hottella.
I am a-comma from Roma as tourist to London and stay as a younga christian man at your hottella.
When I comma in my room I see there is no shit in my bed – how can I sleep with no shit in my bed ? So I calla down to receptione and tella: “I wanna shit !” They tella me: “Go to toilet.” I say: “No, no, I wanta shit in my bed.” They say: “You better not shit in your bed, you sonnawabitch !” What is a sonnawabitch ?
I go down for breakfast into ristorante. I order bacon and eggs and two pissis of toast. I getta only one piss of toast. I tella waitress, and pointa of toast: “I wanna piss !” She tella me: “Go to toilet.” I say: “No, no. I wanna piss on the plate !” She then say to me: “You bloody hella not piss on the plate, you sonnawabitch !” Second person who do not even know me calla me sonnawabitch ! What is a sonnawabitch ?
Later I go for dinner in your ristorante. Spoon and knife is laid out, but no fock. I tella waitress: “I wanna fock” and she tella me: “Sure, everyone wanna fock !” I tella her: “No, no. You don’t understand me. I wanna fock on the table !” She tella me: “So you sonnawabitch wanna fock on the table ? Get your ass out of here !”
So I go to receptione and ask for bill. I no wanna stay in this hotella no more. When I have paid the billa, the portier say me: “Thank you, and peace on you.”
I say: “Piss on you too, you sonnawabitch ! I go back to Italy ! I never more comma stay your hotel no more, you sonnawabitch !”
Sincerely
E.M.
No comment !
